Part one of: what to do when you don't have no money
As a student, I am painfully aware that if you don't watch the cash you are frequently left with few options on the entertainment front. However, as long as you have a couple of mates up for a laugh, an eye for trouble and a daring nature, there's no reason why you shouldn't have just as much fun as the next guy. Who needs wine tasting, wild parties and Domino's pizza when you can have a great time on very little.
Intended for wet, cold evenings, or at least ones where you can't be arsed to get out of the house. If you read this list and aren't impressed, GO TO BED EARLY you boring sod.
Make hot chocolate. If you mix it right, the bubbles on top go shiny and weird colours. One thing I can do is make a mean cup of hot chocolate, so you can always invite me round and I'll make it for you. Slurp away to your heart's content and talk, watch a film, play a board game etc.
Play toss the cock – invented when we stumbled back to mine after Beer Fest and Barry decided to draw a cock on a bit of paper. Throw the 'cock' and whoever it points towards has to do a dare. Below, what happens when you are dared to put a bin on your head.
Do some baking, then eat it. Get corn flakes, melted chocolate, mix, stick into cake cases, wait for the chocolate to set again and ta da. Ready made munchies.
Have sex
Read a book aloud to friends, because it's actually incredibly relaxing being read to and/or reading to other people. Make sure it's something good, and you have to do the voices.
Write a story between several of you. Each of you start one on separate bits of paper, then after 5 minutes you swap round with only the last line of what you wrote showing and write the next 5 minutes of someone else's story. Keep doing it until you've done about five turns, then read them out loud to each other.
Talk about funny stuff you did together when you first knew each other
Show each other Youtube videos or, if you get bored, Xtube videos
Watch an old Disney video, yes VHS
Share a shower, to add a bit of extra, uh, just try showering in the dark too. It's fun.
Cut your friends hair
Start a band, you don't need instruments, use kitchen utensils
Give each of your friends a different edition of Guinness Book of World Records and compare notes
Make paper chains – for any idiots or deprived children, that means cutting coloured paper into strips and dabbing glue one one end to join it and make a loop. Get the next strip and put through the first loop before sealing. You get the idea? It's more fun to decorate them with pens/glitter/pasta/cut out bits from magazines before putting the chain together.
Customise your clothes using studs off of a studded belt, patches, badges, whatever.
Paint, on paper, a wall, someone's face. Below, the 'black eye' I gave my sister when we were bored
Decorate a room, or the whole house if you can afford paint
Learn javascript in a weekend
Try to remember as many funny Mock the Week lines as you can
Play charades, I'm going to rashly assume that everyone knows how to play that
Takes ages over washing and preening yourself. Have a bit of a pamper.
Watch a DVD
Argue over what DVD you would watch it you had time to after choosing
See who's bravest. Have different crazy things to do and see who will go furthest, for example, light a candle (or use a lighter) and see who can hold their hands closest too or in the flame for the longest amount of time. For the sadomasochist in you.
Get naked. Not just for the fun of it, I mean play strip poker, or naked twister. Below, my friends getting wild at one of my parties. Everyone always gets naked at my parties.
Breathe on a window and draw in it
Hold a vigil
Play hide and seek
Pierce your own ears – you will need a saftey pin and a flame. Put the safety pin in the flame, put the safety pin through your ear. Sorted.
Graffiti newspapers/magazines lying around that aren't yours. Even better if you have a sibling/flat mate with posters of what they consider a cute celebrity, draw a moustache on the posters and see how long it takes them to notice.
'The Government are doing a good job of running the country.' – discuss.
Count the hairs on your dog, scales on your fish, chips in the paint etc.
Count all the gram markers on an old pair of scales to check there are the right number
Choose a victim and draw all over them
Draw round someone/thing with chalk/pen and fill the outline with related doodles
Pull faces at yourself in the mirror
Fill in your Dad's grey hairs with pen/highlighters
Have a pillow fight
Do yoga
Draw pictures of what you think the other people there look like naked
Go through the alphabet naming a cute actor/film/things to do if you're rich for each letter
Tidy up, which should involve some sort of 'mission', e.g. pulling everything out of a cupboard/wardrobe/space under the bed and sorting it all out before putting it back again
Build a castle out of cardboard boxes
Slide down the stairs on pillows
Look through old photo albums. Much more fun if you have other people with you and everyone swaps stories about what was going on in the pictures. If your photos are digital, do a slideshow. Below, an old photo of my little sisters at Christmas.
Try to play 'ten green bottles' with glasses filled with different amounts of water
DIY
Read through all your old magazines, it's more interesting reading in retrospect because you think to yourself 'Oh I already knew that' and therefore feel pretty clever. Plus it's a great chance to rip out any good pictures/adverts you missed before and put them up, or scan in good articles so you can recycle the magazines if you don't want them anymore. Even better, take unwanted magazines/newspapers etc. to college/Uni/the doctors surgery because they never, ever have a good selection of stuff to read while you're waiting or making posters.
Make junk models, pasta jewellery, toilet roll tube rain sticks etc. Junk models are easy, PVA glue mixed with a bit of water and, well junk, obviously. Pasta jewellery requires pasta, string, a needle or other hole making device, and some glitter or shiny paint (spray paint's good); spray/glitter up the pasta, make a hole in each end of it (unless it's macaroni) and string them together. Rain sticks: put an 'end' on one end of the tube using paper/card and sellotape. Put in pasta, rice, lentils or beans, seal up the second end and decorate the outside.
Get some blue tac/Maltesers etc., make goalposts out of food packets and have a finger football tournament. Winner gets the rest of the packet of the maltesers, anyone who doesn't want to play can referee aka watching out for players munching on the 'ball' and it shooting off the table.
And after all that, you'll be so tired you will be ready to fall asleep!
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