Instant Pleasure

Life's full of grouches that just don't do justice to how great the world is. My Mum used to say 'Small things amuse small minds', but I beg to differ, as the simplest pleasures in life are the best. To get you into the feel good mood, here are 70 of my instant pleasures.

I like:

1. Stepping onto moving escalators

2. The smell of candles that have just been blown out

3. Being outside really early in the morning

4. Pushing down filter coffee

5. Walking on sand barefoot

6. The noise fish make when they eat

7. Being woken up by the sunshine

8. Buying flowers for someone else

9. Writing postcards

10. Getting sent nice, long emails

11. The smell of coffee and the sounds of pouring cereal

12. Lying in a field with the dog

13. Grass that's so tall you can only see it and the sky when you lie down

14. The smell of hay bales

15. Saying something simultaneously with someone else*

16. Washing properly for the first time in a week after camping

17. Rustling brown paper bags

18. Popping bubble wrap

19. Wrapping up presents

20. The smile on someone's face when they open a present from you

21. Kisses on the cheek*

22. Busker music on the underground

23. Putting up a collage of posters

24. Glow in the dark stars when you turn off the light and remember they are there

25. Sharing a bed*

26. Seeing a friend for the first time in ages

27. Lying on trampolines

28. Coming out of the cinema when it's dark

29. Brushing my teeth!

30. Looking at old photos, especially with someone who can tell you their stories

31. Giving new music to someone and them falling in love with it

32. Sitting down to eat when you are really starving

33. Falling asleep outside

34. Watching Youtube late at night

35. The beach in the dark

36. Meeting a stranger, having a great time then never seeing them again

37. Talking about life and existence and everything under the stars

38. Holding a tiny baby and it not crying

39. Slurping the bottom of a smoothie

40. Wading through rivers

41. Tacking up horses

42. Talking to the same person on MSN and the phone at the same time*

43. Silence that's not awkward

44. Changing into your PJs in the afternoon

45. Driving my car!

46. Buying books from Charity Shops

47. Ordering a black double expresso and the person you're with being impressed

48. Shocking people, especially about stuff that I consider really insignificant

49. Blowing bubbles

50. Someone else initiating holding hands*

51. The other person saying 'I love you' first*

52. When you remember you had the hiccups but now they've gone

53. Reading a series of books one after the other

54. Standing on a table

55. Watching people sleep

56. Sharing ipod headphones

57. Being out with a group friends and everyone else looking at you like they're jealous

58. Coming up at the top of the search when you Google yourself

59. Reading an email someone's sent themselves and put x's at the bottom

60. Staying in bed/out drinking an hour longer when the clocks go back

61. Someone leaving alcohol at your house and never claiming it

62. Breaking the rules in a water fight and using a bucket

63. Moving out

64. Being so temporarily cross you can't keep a straight face

65. Dancing to whatever is on the intercom while you do the shopping

66. Watching dogs swim

67. Putting on a new pair of socks

68. Getting into a freshly made bed

69. The sound of running water outside, like a stream or something

70. Making someone else laugh

    Who said being alive was dull?

* With someone you like, could be quite bad with someone nasty

Write on the night #3

Keeping bright minds occupied,

Suitable for Vegetarians

The planet's in a shambles through no fault of it's own and I can't help but feel I should be doing something about it. Earth has a history that stretches out for centuries before humanity ever graced it's land, and a future that goes far beyond human existence. Too many people view the story to be about 'man' and how he conquered the planet, when really that's the short version. Mankind is part of the world's story, not the other way around and therefore Earth deserves the respect and gentility that it just doesn't get these days.

It's not as though there aren't enough resources to go around. On the contrary, there is plenty of fuel and building materials, food and land, yet the human population is scattered unevenly across the planet and have managed to distribute what's harvested from the earth severely disproportionately. Today is not a recycling crusade, nor a hippy controversy. I would simply like to explain why I am a vegetarian, and how that means I'm helping out the planet more than a meat eater.

You may have encountered a vegetarian or two. Bet you that at least one of them ate fish, or chicken, or Harribo. Or maybe they were quite strict about food but didn't apply their life style to products outside of food and drink. Perhaps they were really good about everything you could think of, but gave their reasons for being so thorough in line with “animals are too cute to kill”.

Having lived on a farm, where the wethers were carted off to the abattoir every Autumn, I can happily say that I don't have a problem with animals being humanely slaughtered, after leading a happy and healthy life, and being turned into steak and sausages. My meat eating clan will testify that Millsteads lamb is rather tasty. However, I choose not to eat or drink, consume or use anything that contains or has been made using products from a dead animal. Inevitably, I am frequently asked why I go to such lengths to adhere to strict vegetarian criteria.

1. All or nothing

Being 'vegetarian' but supporting products or companies that use animal products, which require the animal to be killed or harmed, is like being an animal cruelty protester who buys battery farmed eggs. You either have to embrace it fully or not at all. I've found, after four and a half years of being veggie, that once you discover something contains dead animal products, it becomes a lot less appealing.

The following all contain dead animal products:

• Chocolate can contain products from animal bones, such as whey protein or uses non-veggie gelling agents

• Coke Cola and other drinks manufactured by Coke have fish products in them

• Ice-cream can be made using animal products, which helps it to set

• Many crisps use flavourings and emulsifiers derived from dead animals

• Cheese is made with rennet, which is frequently sourced from the inside of calf's stomachs

• Spreads, juices, smoothies, margarine and cereals often promote containing Omega 3, from fish when there are alternative sources, such as sunflower seeds

• Candles, shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, washing up liquid, mascara, lipstick, lubricant: all these and almost all household products and cosmetics contain products from dead animals

Maybe it's just me, but it's not natural to be using all that shit to clean yourself and your house. All this wouldn't be such a problem if the animals could be sourced. The way things are, there's no way to find out whether the calf that made your cheese was completely dead before it's stomach was cut out, or if there were dolphins killed and reefs destroyed when the fish were netted to go into olive spread.

I do not endorse animal cruelty and therefore, refuse to support companies that do not ethically source the animal products they use to make food, drink, cosmetics or cleaning products.

2. Economy

Economically, this country and the world in general, is mismanaged when it comes to agriculture. For a start, half of the meat eaten in the UK is shipped in from countries where it's cheaper, although ultimately lower quality, and where farmers to not have to adhere to the same standards of slaughter or production. There are a ridiculous amount of animals in the world; bred to be eaten. They serve no purpose other than to add carbon dioxide and methane to our atmosphere, then be sold as almost worthless and canned, shipped off to wherever has the demand.

Why not farm fewer animals, which would then increase their worth, reduce their contribution to global warming, or whatever is going on with the weather, and ultimately, provide much better quality meat to the consumer. And a lot of the blame is on the consumer, for being willing to buy vast quantities of shit 'meat'. It's unhealthy to eat meat every day, especially meat from malnourished, over farmed livestock that doesn't contain half the protein and iron it's meant to.

More people should eat more plants. As plants give out oxygen and take in carbon dioxide, you would think this would be a fairly simple solution to the jumbled up gases in the atmosphere, yet nothing get's done about it. Well, hi. I'm not going to buy any of your shite meat products, or anything that has animal products that might come from your animals in it, until you sort it out, mate.

3. Environment

Tree hugging is all very well. Marching might be great. However, actively refusing to give money to the poor bastards that think up all the stuff that meat and products from meat, or animal carcasses, goes into will actually make a difference. Environment is essential to survival and the way things are going, it looks like humanity might be checking out early if the majority of mankind refuse to acknowledge the fact that pumping fumes into the air, toxins into the rivers and ploughing through rainforests like there is no tomorrow, is going to continue wrecking the environment.

Regardless of vegetarianism, I despise fast food. It's greasy, smelly, packed with saturated fat and generally the most foul and unhealthy food on the planet. Maybe you fast food eaters are not aware that the chains you frequent, or even just 'treat' yourself to, buy beef from South America, where the cows are farmed by 'slash and burn' farmers. The deal is, that a farmer cuts down a load of rainforest and burns it, leaving a nice big patch of fertile soil, full of nutrients from the rainforest. He gets his cows to munch on the ex-forest floor for a while, but as the rainforest isn't there any more to hold the topsoil in place with tree roots, and no leaves to drop and create mulch and compost, the 'rain' forest rains wash away the soil and it becomes bad land. So the farmer cuts down the next bit of forest and so on and so on. The long and the short of it is, the rainforest disappears in the blink of an eye and the world's delicate balance of gases in the atmosphere goes haywire, resulting in mental weather, melting ice caps and eventually a loss of land from rising sea levels.

What a fucking joke. US President going blah blah blah about the 'terrible' hurricanes, droughts, floods, tsunamis and general fucked up everything. Yet the USA still refuses to comply with international standards of emissions. They are too wrapped up in their own interests, which in the end will result in them burning first. Same to you China. Eat that.

Or rather, don't.

4. Animal Cruelty

I have to admit that recently the telly has been doing it's been trying to persuade consumers to think about where their food has come from. Jamie Oliver's high profile battle against battery farming chickens, C4's 'Kill it, skin it, wear it' about cruelty free fur and that one where the posh guy eats carrion or something, River Cottage maybe? All have encouraged the average consumer to consider whether there has been a particularly unfair amount of suffering behind their food and promote organic and free range meat and eggs.

But really, these programmes target the 'average' middle class consumer who is already aware and kind of doing their bit for animal welfare. The real offenders are the ones who eat at KFC and buy economy battery farmed eggs when they could use less a week and buy free range ones. By British law, an animal must be dead before being 'processed' but that doesn't mean that law is abided by, or applicable considering where most meat consumed in the UK is farmed and processed. KFC put chickens that are still alive in boiling water to burn off their feathers, cows are often not completely dead and the lives of many animals, especially on battery farms, is not comparable to anything a human would call 'life'.

It is unnecessary and inhumane to treat animals, who can feel pain just like you or I, the way that so many companies do. This has to stop. Animals should be respected and anyone who eats meat or products derived from the animals that are abused does not respect themselves.

5. Meat is disgusting

I hate the taste, the smell and how it looks. So that's me sorted.

All the time, my vegetarian lifestyle expands to another aspect of my day to day life. Since I first became vegetarian I have learnt more about the way food is produced and what is and isn't vegetarian. Gradually, I have become more strict and do not consume or buy products that are not marked as vegetarian or vegan. It takes time to start eating new food, drink and buying different products. I love vegetarian and vegan stuff, so to leave today on a slighter happier note, take a look at the uh-mazing gear below which is cruelty free,

• SFX Hairdye

• Lush

• Urban Decay

• Converse

• Supermarket own brand are clearly labelled veggie or not

• Cobra Beer

• Cadbury's

• Green & Black's Organic Chocolate

• Superdrug marks which own brand products are vegan, for example their hair gel

• Faith in Nature

• Vegan Village

• Ethical Superstore

• The Co-op supermarket is excellent at making sure it's own brand food, drink, alcohol and household products (basically all things under the Co-op label) is Fairtrade, vegetarian and/or vegan, approved independently to not be tested on animals and everything is clearly labelled as such. Just, shop at Co-op!

  
  

At the end of the day, this article has not been aiming to convert any reader to living a vegetarian lifestyle. I simply hope that reading this will have explained the reasons that I choose not to eat products derived from dead animals.

Play it again

Flat 260's resident singer/songwriter is playing at The Globe pub in Carlisle tomorrow evening, 9th October 2008, at the open mic night. Anyone who's around, come see Kris play. There's not many like him, don't miss him before he floats up and away. 

5 songs to get you going:

Like a pornography poster

I show you my fish:

That's Elvis. He's wicked.

News: University is still going surprisingly well, I'm in no hurry for that to change. Tess of the d'Urbervilles ended contrary to my expectations, which is my own bloody fault for not finishing the book first. Francos is booked for nine on Wednesday night. The new blog hasn't missed a day yet, the new videos on youtube are increasingly popular.

It amuses me that the most hits have been granted to a 5 second video of Igor and myself exhaling cigarette smoke. Weird.

Otherwise, very little to report I'm afraid. That's how wholly exciting the life of Spunk is.

Music:

Pussycat Dolls, When I Grow Up (it grows on you)

Flo Rida, Elevator and his previous single, Low

and more like my usual taste

A7X, all of it, but trashed and scattered remains amazing

Plus, here's the resident singer/songwriter doing what he does best. The song is by the White Stripes. Until the next time.

In not so many words

Words said well, by others

Language is a comfortable inspiration. Without it we are nothing and with it we are everything and anything we choose to be. As one would expect, some are more fluent in clever comments than others and I have always admired those who speak the same way they write, because thinking in long words and extensive vocabulary is not as easy as it sounds. I'd like to propose a toast to the following word smiths and friends who have brightened my life with perfect expression.

To the words of others, their spectacular quotes and many more in future conversation.

Quotes best kept close to the heart

“The man who can't visualise a horse galloping on a tomato is an idiot.”

“Easy tiger.” a guy in Lloyds the other night

“You’re one of the rare people who can do absolutely nothing and still look perfect” at 4.30am in the morning, after we'd laid out watching the sky and having intense conversation the entire night.

“You are so full of life in the most existentialist way.”

“When on earth did you get so good looking?” before she started taking interest and we became good friends.

“You freak me out.” If you knew my Mum, you would understand why that's so hilarious.

“Try not to get caught up in attempting to be ‘good’ rather than focus on being faithful! Nothing can separate you from the love of God.”

“You can get up in the morning and decide, today will be a good day or a bad day.” Nana

“I wrap so well you can hardly tell it's a present.” Abi

“I’ll have a girlfriend when I find a girl who can give me something a man can't.” Let his fiance hear that now.

“I don't think you should feel bad about your body. I mean, I've seen you. You've got a nice ass.” Someone I live with. You know who you are.

“In some ways that's artistic. In a lot of ways it's alcoholic.” Looking at all the empty bottles the morning after the night before.

“I can’t be a paedophile, I’m not 18.” Nick

“Gingers are a dying race.” My Mum isn't really racist.

“What species is your Mum?” Some guy in my English class to the Sunni girl from South Africa

“You do spell 7 S-E-V-E-R-N right?” LATER “That’s only if you’re welsh.” Epitome of intelligence? That's the blondes for you.

“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.” James Dean, live by this and you will have a good life.

"His attitude to life is negative and self-pitying. He puts little into it, and consequently gets little out of it. All children and teenagers are familiar with the problem. They find it easy to slip into a state of fretful boredom which causes negative feedback. The feeling that nothing is worth the effort causes a sinking of the energies (for we summon energy like summoning the genie out of the lamp, when we are gripped by purpose), which in turn increases the feeling that life is a bore, which increases the fatigue... And so on in a cycle of self-enfeeblement.” No one ever made so much sense, if only I knew who said it.

“The only response to a child's grave it to lie down before it and play dead.” Bill Knott

“Chaos is when a man walks ahead, but his soul lags behind.”

“As far as I'm concerned, love is what you feel for someone you don't know very well, if at all.”

“Everything I do is based on an urge that I don't understand, though I keep trying to understand it.” both from Frisk by DC

“I hope that when the world comes to an end I can breathe a sigh of relief because there will be so much to look forward to.” Donnie Darko

“What’s the point of living if you don’t have a dick?” Donnie Darko

“[his eyes] opened to show off a mind built of weird contradictions”

“Don’t make me feel this then leave.”

“You could categorize it, which was sad.”

All three from Period by Dennis Cooper

“Whatever I dreamt basically is real.” Eugene Hutz

“I don't even hate you. I feel nothing. You are just dust and ashes to me now.” Tess of the d'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy

“It's all rather serious isn't it, this business of being alive.” Angel Clare, same book as above

“How am I not myself?” I heart Huckabees

“The thing that matters is not what they show me but what they hide from me and, above all, what they do no suspect is in them.” Robert Bresson

“Dream your way out of the present.”

“Hope is only where despair is.” Both from Possibility of Hope featurette in conjunction with Children of Men

Louise - “They’re charging us with murder.” Thelma - “Oooo.” Thelma & Louise

“Life has only one great lesson, it says to you pay attention.” Harlan Ellison

“The only thing worse than not having what you want is obtaining it in full.” Philosopher on telly

“We go to the same college. I think I kicked a ball at you once.”

“Get busy living or get busy dying.” Shawshank Redemption

“That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger” Nietzsche

“That's all life is, sister, a series of moments. Why don't you seize yours?” 

“Sex is a joke in heaven?”

“The way I understand it, sex is mostly a joke down here too.” All three from Dogma

“I know how they take those things off honey, but I don't know how they stick 'em back on.” Sex Change Hospital

“I'll give you my blood if you want. But it works both way – I want some fucking blood too.” Frank Carter, Gallows

“Originals never fit.” Levis

“I blamed them for everything that is less easily articulated but most responsible for why I am such a mistake of flesh. Said flesh is tragically permanent and inescapable, heaped on a random skeleton with bones not unlike the bars of a fucking cage.” Killa Luka

“I will cut his head off and shovel shit down his throat for even thinking he can get it from a girl like you.” Jimmy

 “Don't trust people because they are only human.” Isiah 33 v 3

“The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief that lonliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence.” Thomas Wolfe, God's Lonely Man

“The stars will tell us if we're right.” From a letter by an angel

“A lot of people just fucking leave you.” This is England

“If you ever want someone to talk to, cry with or just have a fucking hug, I promise I won’t let you down.” This Is England

“Excuse me, you're standing on my surfboard.” I can't remember, but it was bloody funny.

“Buy me some alcohol?” “Wait until you're 18.” “I'm in a hurry.” Me & some well underage kid outside Co-op

“Everything is the same, but different.” My Gran

“College was okay today. When I say ‘okay’ I mean it didn’t kill me.” That was actually me that said that.

“__*CHARLITE says:

do i love you?

__*CHARLITE says:

i think i do

__*CHARLITE says:

i think you are the best and most loyal friend ever”

“From Jim, on a day that I needed to hear this: I love you, you are the best friend ever. You constantly exceed my expectations and are rather erotically the most intelligent conversationist I know. Xx”

“The light’s so bright it could be shining from heaven, and we could be angels. But it’s not, and we’re not.” Mysterious Skin, Scott Heim

“I tend to let people assume the worst.” That was me too.

“A vegetarian driving a 4x4 all year is more sustainable than a meat eater riding a bicycle all year.”

“A problem will get heavier when the only person carrying it is you.” Can't remember, but I wrote it in my notebook while sitting in Gare du Nord.

“Please believe that it’s all good with me, and if it’s not it will be soon. And I’ll believe the same for you.” The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, Stephen Chobsky

“ [He] looks cute when he's sleeping, yes. I bet you look cute when you're sleeping. I bet I don't.” DC

“Ask me anything, ladies and gentleman - I'm through with uncertainty.” Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Hitrecord.org

Other things I like to hear and deserve to be recognised as 'quotes' because it's so great to get told:

• Food's ready

• I love you

• Happy Birthday!

• If you're tired, go to sleep

• Do you want to be a godparent?

• Let's get coffee

• Your hair is amazing/magnificent/the best thing I have ever seen, ever

• Thank you

• I'll miss you

Really, it's all just a build up to those moments when words aren't needed. Everyone one I've shared one or more of those with, thanks.

Watch what you say ;)