Broke Night In

Part one of: what to do when you don't have no money

As a student, I am painfully aware that if you don't watch the cash you are frequently left with few options on the entertainment front. However, as long as you have a couple of mates up for a laugh, an eye for trouble and a daring nature, there's no reason why you shouldn't have just as much fun as the next guy. Who needs wine tasting, wild parties and Domino's pizza when you can have a great time on very little.

Intended for wet, cold evenings, or at least ones where you can't be arsed to get out of the house. If you read this list and aren't impressed, GO TO BED EARLY you boring sod.

1. Make hot chocolate. If you mix it right, the bubbles on top go shiny and weird colours. One thing I can do is make a mean cup of hot chocolate, so you can always invite me round and I'll make it for you. Slurp away to your heart's content and talk, watch a film, play a board game etc.

2. Play toss the cock – invented when we stumbled back to mine after Beer Fest and Barry decided to draw a cock on a bit of paper. Throw the 'cock' and whoever it points towards has to do a dare. Below, what happens when you are dared to put a bin on your head.



3. Do some baking, then eat it. Get corn flakes, melted chocolate, mix, stick into cake cases, wait for the chocolate to set again and ta da. Ready made munchies.


My sister and biscuit mixture, below, my apron.



4. Have sex

5. Read a book aloud to friends, because it's actually incredibly relaxing being read to and/or reading to other people. Make sure it's something good, and you have to do the voices.

6. Write a story between several of you. Each of you start one on separate bits of paper, then after 5 minutes you swap round with only the last line of what you wrote showing and write the next 5 minutes of someone else's story. Keep doing it until you've done about five turns, then read them out loud to each other.

7. Talk about funny stuff you did together when you first knew each other

8. Show each other Youtube videos or, if you get bored, Xtube videos



9. Watch an old Disney video, yes VHS

10. Share a shower, to add a bit of extra, uh, just try showering in the dark too. It's fun.

11. Cut your friends hair



12. Start a band, you don't need instruments, use kitchen utensils

13. Give each of your friends a different edition of Guinness Book of World Records and compare notes

14. Make paper chains – for any idiots or deprived children, that means cutting coloured paper into strips and dabbing glue one one end to join it and make a loop. Get the next strip and put through the first loop before sealing. You get the idea? It's more fun to decorate them with pens/glitter/pasta/cut out bits from magazines before putting the chain together.

15. Customise your clothes using studs off of a studded belt, patches, badges, whatever.

16. Paint, on paper, a wall, someone's face. Below, the 'black eye' I gave my sister when we were bored



17. Decorate a room, or the whole house if you can afford paint

18. Learn javascript in a weekend

19. Try to remember as many funny Mock the Week lines as you can



20. Play charades, I'm going to rashly assume that everyone knows how to play that

21. Takes ages over washing and preening yourself. Have a bit of a pamper.

22. Watch a DVD

23. Argue over what DVD you would watch it you had time to after choosing

24. See who's bravest. Have different crazy things to do and see who will go furthest, for example, light a candle (or use a lighter) and see who can hold their hands closest too or in the flame for the longest amount of time. For the sadomasochist in you.

    
    

25. Get naked. Not just for the fun of it, I mean play strip poker, or naked twister. Below, my friends getting wild at one of my parties. Everyone always gets naked at my parties.



26. Breathe on a window and draw in it

27. Hold a vigil

28. Play hide and seek

29. Pierce your own ears – you will need a saftey pin and a flame. Put the safety pin in the flame, put the safety pin through your ear. Sorted.

    
    

30. Graffiti newspapers/magazines lying around that aren't yours. Even better if you have a sibling/flat mate with posters of what they consider a cute celebrity, draw a moustache on the posters and see how long it takes them to notice.

31. 'The Government are doing a good job of running the country.' – discuss.

32. Count the hairs on your dog, scales on your fish, chips in the paint etc.

33. Count all the gram markers on an old pair of scales to check there are the right number



34. Choose a victim and draw all over them

35. Draw round someone/thing with chalk/pen and fill the outline with related doodles

36. Pull faces at yourself in the mirror

    
    

37. Fill in your Dad's grey hairs with pen/highlighters

38. Have a pillow fight

39. Do yoga

    
    

40. Draw pictures of what you think the other people there look like naked

41. Go through the alphabet naming a cute actor/film/things to do if you're rich for each letter

42. Tidy up, which should involve some sort of 'mission', e.g. pulling everything out of a cupboard/wardrobe/space under the bed and sorting it all out before putting it back again

43. Build a castle out of cardboard boxes



44. Slide down the stairs on pillows

45. Look through old photo albums. Much more fun if you have other people with you and everyone swaps stories about what was going on in the pictures. If your photos are digital, do a slideshow. Below, an old photo of my little sisters at Christmas.



46. Try to play 'ten green bottles' with glasses filled with different amounts of water

47. DIY

48. Read through all your old magazines, it's more interesting reading in retrospect because you think to yourself 'Oh I already knew that' and therefore feel pretty clever. Plus it's a great chance to rip out any good pictures/adverts you missed before and put them up, or scan in good articles so you can recycle the magazines if you don't want them anymore. Even better, take unwanted magazines/newspapers etc. to college/Uni/the doctors surgery because they never, ever have a good selection of stuff to read while you're waiting or making posters.



49. Make junk models, pasta jewellery, toilet roll tube rain sticks etc. Junk models are easy, PVA glue mixed with a bit of water and, well junk, obviously. Pasta jewellery requires pasta, string, a needle or other hole making device, and some glitter or shiny paint (spray paint's good); spray/glitter up the pasta, make a hole in each end of it (unless it's macaroni) and string them together. Rain sticks: put an 'end' on one end of the tube using paper/card and sellotape. Put in pasta, rice, lentils or beans, seal up the second end and decorate the outside.

50. Get some blue tac/Maltesers etc., make goalposts out of food packets and have a finger football tournament. Winner gets the rest of the packet of the maltesers, anyone who doesn't want to play can referee aka watching out for players munching on the 'ball' and it shooting off the table.

    And after all that, you'll be so tired you will be ready to fall asleep!

Deviate #1

I know a place that connects people through art. Too risky for Flickr, Deviantart.com hosts some of the best established and fresh faced artists from around the world. Free to join and upload unlimited deviations, there are already hundreds of thousands of members who have collectively uploaded millions of deviations. To bring light the creations being posted on Deviant Art every day, this regular post will showcase 9 pieces of exceptional artwork I've stumbled across during the last month.

Each piece can be viewed in full if clicked and links and artist details are underneath the image. 

September 2008

Bluebeard

by VladimirBorowicz

Marie Antoinette Part II

by VladimirBorowicz

First Polaroid

by Eiwa

Hate Note

by 2yan

We don't have time for that

by 5pianos

Polaroid Love

by GoWithTheFlowEnzo

Pits

by DemonOfThorns

Clown Can't Breathe

by jinnwoo

Behind Everything

by Aripi-de-zapada

Take a while to look through the galleries of these artists, and Hi if one of you reads this - great work. Okay, cool. More next month some time. If you need more visit Deviant Art now.

Weed

Today I bought an aquarium,

and it's rather nice. Next week it will have a fish in it, Elvis. Watch this space.

Oh and here's what youtube just threw up. Charlie, I do love you man but really, stick to being British mate.

Write on the night #2

One week in the sack and plenty more scheduled down to the bone. Friday means no pre-planned post, just whatever comes up and gets down. Today that means setting a goal, or several. So far everything's been pretty good, just to have somewhere to aim there are a few things I want to get done. Keep me motivated, on track and heading somewhere, if these are public there's a smaller chance I'll fail other people than myself.

Before graduation I will:

DJ

make a film I actually think is good

kiss a boy (and like it, damn it)

start a zine

get a reputation

dye someone else's hair

take drugs

get a tattoo and/or another piercing

own 100 DVDs unless a new format becomes more popular

enter a film festival

make porn

have pet fish

I'll let you know how that goes.

Show Reel #1

Watching a film every day catches up with you, so I've slowed down a bit and started writing short reviews for everything I watch, whether I like it or not, to save me, you, everyone, some time. There are a lot of good films and a lot of bad ones, so maybe this will save you watching a bad one or encourage you to pick up a copy of a good one if it's £3 in the sale in HMV.

DVDs are getting so cheap, it makes sense to know what's good so you can save renting it out.

The 'should I buy it' rating system works like this:

! Turn off Didn't finish it because it was shit/boring/both and everything related

!! Floppy (Couldn't get it up) Yawn, bearable but only just. Don't ever buy on DVD, especially not for someone else as they might shoot you.

!!! Frisky Somewhere between okay and enjoyable, maybe both. Don't buy on DVD unless 50p or something because a second viewing within 18 months may kill you. However, when it shows on TV you have permission to watch it if there's nothing better on.

!!!! Creamy Pretty cool, meaning really good, so buy it once it's, say £10 or under. Shouldn't be too long unless everyone else liked it too.

!!!!! Orgasmic Immensely good, everyone knows that 5 points is an orgasm, which means buy it now. Either that or give it to someone as a present and go round their house and watch it. Or rent it and watch it a load of times in the 24 hours or however long you've got it for and then you'll probably survive without it until it's cheaper. 2

Getting on with the reel juice:

# 9 The Science of Sleep - !!!!!

Be prepared to the distinction between sleep and reality happily blurred. In the ambiguous and abherent world of vivid imagination and obscure thought process, the deliciously talent Gael Garcia Bernal works the screen of another Michael Gondry masterpiece. Gondry presents his uniquely light hearted and amusing perspective of the world in a completely miraculous style, that can't and won't be matched by any other film maker, ever.

Nobody sees the world like Michael Gondry, and even if they did, no one could match his complex, back to basics, unquestionable genius. The Science of Sleep reminds even the weariest of souls that approaching each day like a child, helps you find the fun of simple things, and having a wild imagination.

Not only is the film enjoyable, it is beautiful and detailed. The props and animation used do not compromise the overall mise-en-scene and only do more to romanticise Republique and it's interesting inhabitants. The 'dream sequences' capture perfectly the reoccurring images and themes that dance around behind closed eyelids, involving what you've seen, done, felt that day. Using abstract links doesn't seem cliché or overtly funny; excellent editing and clear vision sees the film achieving humour without trying, as such, adding to the casual yet energetic mood.

Stephane's 'dream' TV show is great. The whole set is made out of cardboard, empty egg boxes etc. Gael Garcia Bernal pops right out of his character's affection craving suit and really shows what he's made of. I already liked him as an actor, but now am only in even more awe as he has proven his flexibility and true range of skills. For not a second does he cease to be convincing, Stephane develops into a much more interesting character through Gondry's writing and Gael's acting, enough to make you fall in love with him and his ideas. My favourite bit of the whole film, probably, is when he dreams he is drumming in a mouse suit; immense.

I love it. Maybe especially because The Science of Sleep is set in a part of Paris I'm fond of and can recognise the locations, and mannerisms of some of the characters. It's a sweet combination of skilled acting, excellent writing and direction and a whole lot of Michael Gondry's dreaming.

Quote: “The brain is the most complex thing in the Universe – and it's right behind the nose.”

NB: I thought that I'd just add, I bought this for £3 in Zavvi because of the credits. On the first watch, I fell in love and if you have any sense, you will too.

# 4 West - !!

I'll put my hands up and admit that I allowed myself to be lured in by West's marketing. The cover had a perfect shot of protagonist Pete, which looks nothing like how he is in the entire film, and seemed like a good bet for a bit of eye candy even if it was shit. Also, the cover told me that West is a film 'for fans of Brick', a very good film on my DVD shelf. Similarities between Brick and West: 1. a monosyllabic title 2. someone dies 3. débuts from writer/directors 4. drugs. And that's it. West tries too hard, exaggerates in all the wrong places and makes the fatal mistake of casting and dressing the 'sexy, dangerous' Cheryl, as a plump, unattractive chav. In stark contrast to Rian Johnson's 'Brick', the film doesn't appear at all artistic and takes on and ugly form of drama genre. It's West's abysmal attempt to denote reality that is ultimately it's downfall.

# 3 Walk The Line – !!!! Creamy

Biopics can be a bit off key, missing the mark, aggravating the subject/s and generally being nothing more than a Hollywood-ised version of a vaguely interesting persons life. Walk the Line is a rarity in the sense that not only is it well adapted from Johnny Cash's autobiography The Man in Black, but that the cast are 100% dedicated to representing him and his life accurately and passionately. Joaquin Pheonix is remarkable as the man in black himself, and it's obvious that he hasn't simply learnt the script and walked in front of the camera; he learnt to sing like Johnny Cash, play the guitar and perfected his accent, facial expressions. It's no wonder Walk the Line was nominated for so many awards, I must look up which it won. I'm pretty sure it got an Oscar, at least.

Not only is the leading man amazing, the leading lady, Reese Witherspoon as June Carter, is just as convincing. Débutante her voice, it's not bad at all! We know she can do the accent from her rom-com Sweet Home Alabama, but she doesn't stop there and fights with pure gusto to persuade the audience she's perfectly capable to hold the spotlight in a more complex film than her previous string of female marketed romantic comedies. Really, she doesn't have to prove herself. I have never doubted her as any character. Walk the Line is a great introduction to Johnny Cash and his music, featuring classics such as Cry, Cry, Cry, Walk the Line and It Ain't me Babe.

Although my regular taste doesn't involve a great conclusion, especially a 'happy' one, I was not going to complain about Johnny Cash and June Carter's real life happy ending, which in consideration, I think is proof to anyone that it's worth keeping a belief in a friend who seems to be going haywire. Walk the Line is thrilling, in the calmest possible sense of the word and is a true tribute to such a great musician.

Quote: June Carter saying: “You wear black because you couldn't find nothing else to wear, you found your sound because you couldn't play no better and you just tried to kiss me because it just happened? Maybe you should start taking credit for something.”

More coming from the film buff, including reviews of Boys Don't Cry, Little Miss Sunshine, I am Legend and High Fidelity. Oh yes, eyes wide open mate.

Time is money so spend it wisely

#1 Volunteering

Being the old cynic that I am, there is no way you would get me to give a substantial amount of money or regular donations to a charity. Most of the time there is no clear definition given as to where donations actually go, and chances are that it's paying someone's wages for doing charitable administration or direction. I have much better things to do with my time.

Such as, volunteering. This way, you see the direct results of your time and energy, and provide a more practical and sustainable source of 'giving' than throwing money at a branded charity. It can be as much or as little as you want and has many more plus sides to donating in other ways. That's what I do and you should too. Why? Because:

1. It's rewarding

   As in, you don't just get a minor glow or whatever you feel when you donate money, you can see the physical difference you and other volunteers have made. On building projects there is a chance to provide something that will help generations to come, and a week or two's labour stands in stone for decades to come. E.g. Project Gateway in Mali – a team from a local church went to stay with missionaries in the West African country of Mali and helped to build a college for the local community. I didn't go, but my friend Matt did!

2. New friends

   Generally, volunteering teams work in pairs or broken down groups to carry out duties. Whether this means spending time with one or several people on a 24hour basis, you basically can't go volunteering and not make friends. Also, because everyone on the team is there for the same reason, it's easy to get talking and everyone is nice! Volunteers are almost always nice. E.g. Youth council – seeing as the old one had been dead and buried for a few years I decided to start it up again and had a great team of officers voted in for my year as chair. The end of that year was an end of an era, because we'd become such good friends.

   
   
   
   

3. Experiences

   Signing up to go off somewhere exotic, you really have no idea what might be in store for you. It's exciting trying new things and meeting people that you might never have bumped into before, especially when it's an experience all in it's self. It could be being backstage at an event, rather than being a punter, or meeting the people you are providing a service for face to face; whatever the case, it makes it extra special and not something to forget quickly. E.g. Carroty Wood – my sister Abi went to a Christian camping holiday at Carroty Wood as a group leader this year. She was on the phone last night telling me how she ate octopus (a whole one!), ants, scorpion and other nasty things to earn points for her team. Dedication!

   
   

   

4. A challenge

   There are lots of things that make volunteering experiences exceptional. However, the challenges faced are one of the aspects that help volunteers to grow as a person and in their understanding of people and the world during their time of serving. People with disabilities, working in blistering heat, evacuating huge venues and coping with intense hours of work can all play a key part in a volunteering experience, and provide physical and mental challenges. Overcoming these challenges and learning about new situations leaves you tired, but satisfied that you and your team managed to get through. E.g. Urban Saints – last summer I was a leader on an Urban Saints holiday in the New Forest. There was a camper with cerebral palsy. Although sometimes it was hard to know what he was saying, he was lovely to have on the holiday and taught the leaders and campers alike, more about the disability and how to communicate with a sufferer.

   
   

   

5. Holiday/festival for free!

   Volunteering is not all hard work, for start stewarding or volunteering as a team leader often gets you free access to festivals, conferences and activity holidays. Although your experience of the event as a volunteer will obviously be different to the average punter, you'll find that you get the chance to see a lot of acts, talks and play loads of games and do activities that are great fun and perhaps widen your horizons, as there is less choice involved. Being part of the organising team is an excellent way to go to an event after you're too old to be a camper, or if you don't have enough cash for a ticket. E.g. Spring Harvest – Stewarding allows you to go free to Spring Harvest, but be warned; the hours are long, the work is hard and you don't get a great say in which venues you are working on and therefore what or who you see. However, with accommodation, food and travel expenses paid for, and a fun experience all round, I would definitely do it again.

   

6. Get fit

   Yes, the name of this game is get your hands dirty. It's bloody hard work, running around with the same energy as pre-teens and adolescent boys and girls, stacking and unstacking chairs, being up early I.e. team meeting at 7am, going to bed late I.e. after everyone else that's not on the team is asleep, keeping everyone motivated and generally running around like a headless chicken. E.g. Cleaning the sea in Honduras – my Aunt went out to Honduras for a couple of months, diving off a boat every day to help clean much off the sea bed. Apart from doing all kinds of cool things like swimming with dolphins and sharks, she was scuba diving every day and was using those arm muscles scrubbing away underwater.

   
   
   

7. Appreciate the work other volunteers do

   When you've been on a regular team for a season or event, you realise just how much it takes to organise an event or holiday. You will never take stewards or leaders for granted again, oh no! Up ridiculously early for meetings before the punters get going, setting up and cleaning venues, keeping everyone safe and preparing material, there is not much that the volunteers don't do. If you've never thought about it, chances are you won't have realised nearly how much they do, so next time you see someone in a yellow tabbard, give them a big thumbs up! E.g. Shoebox Appeal – it's all very well making up your shoebox with nice things to send to children in Eastern Europe, but someone's got to take them out there. Someone I know was part of a crew that delivered the shoe boxes to orphaned children in Romania, and filmed them receiving the gifts. You just don't think about the work that is put into these projects after you've done the easy bit – donating. The resulting video was immensely touching, as small, simple presents meant the world to children who had nothing.

8. Hear first hand how you've made a difference

   Unlike the money game, by volunteering, you meet the people you are helping and are able to hear first hand how your time has made their lives a bit nicer. Abroad, it is touching to hear and see the children they always go on about in TV, and the way they react to having visitors come and provide them with some new stuff. At home, the stories and lives of people living in poverty is just as moving, as they really appreciate someone taking the time to help them out. That's something money can't buy. E.g. Soul in the City – project where a huge team of volunteers go into deprived areas of cities and do a spot of tidying up, in communities and individual households. I was too young to help out last time it ran, but have heard first hand that it makes a big difference and the people it helps were hugely thankful.

   
   

9. Have fun!

   If you don't have fun while you are volunteering, you've missed the point somewhere. It's not a call for slave labour, it's a chance for people to offer a service while enjoying themselves. Team leaders more often than not are expected to ridicule themselves for the purpose of entertaining the participating children, so watch out! E.g. Kidz Klub – for a couple of years I was a team leader at an after school and Saturday club for junior school children. The best moment for me was getting pied in the face, definitely.

Basically, volunteer rather than write a cheque, or at least donate money to a local or personally known charity or project where the cash will go directly to the people that need it most. A little time and effort can go a long way and there are projects ranging from unpaid administration to raising money by climbing the Andes. Finding something to suit you is easy and in the end, it's an experience you won't forget for the journey you've made and the many to come from your service.